SPIN STORIES
Anyone who has worked for very long has some story about a workplace event that was emotionally challenging. These stories range from small emotional spins to large collective dramas and traumas. Some of these "spin stories" are amusing water- cooler -war-stories when they turn out well. Others have ended in tragic catastrophe for individuals, groups or companies. Emotions are going to happen to people. Emotional Continuity Management is a process that allows human beings to be emotionally human whether feelings are simple and small or escalating into a complicated, full blown, contagious group -trauma.
Managers must understand that they cannot control emotions, although they can assist in the management of them. Past emotions may blow into the present to become "here-and-now" spin feelings. Future feelings can become worrisome fantasies of gloom and doom. Feelings that originate in the past or hover in the future are impossible to control and tough to manage. The problem for managers is that an employee who suddenly exhibits the long- term effects of some old wound that has nothing to do with work may believe they need to do something to control this old stuff. That is not a job for managers. That is a job for someone with mental health credentials.
The whoosh of old feelings that are unexpectedly triggered by some workplace issue may surprise the individual having the spin, as much as it surprises everyone else! This old set of feelings may have been covert, or hidden in some deep emotional pocket for a very long time. Without a crystal ball or advanced degrees in psychology it is difficult to predict such an episode. Therefore, it is prudent for a manager to recognize some early signs of a change in the wind and have some tools to manage a full range of variations in emotional response. It is also important to discern which emotions are simple "solo" spins (i.e., someone is having a really bad day or a serious emotional difficulty) and those that lead to collective or contagious group emotional F-5 tornado spins. Reading the following spin stories provide an opportunity for a manager to consider what would happen to their organization if these events were occurring. Which employees in your charge would be the most vulnerable? How would such a "story" play out in your company? Would it influence the bottom-line? How would you manage it?
 |
A consultant company is hired to increase efficiency within a major, science-based industry. It is told that its agenda is to create a process that eliminates "dead weight." There are over 700 people in the company. One group of 40 is engaged in a project that cannot be disturbed, so they will remain exempt from the process until the project is completed. The company creates a new process, with a buzzword called Re-Focusing. Each employee must now reapply , Re-Focus, for their position. The reapplication process takes approximately 3.5 days to complete at an average expense of $100.00 per day of salary. ($100.00 x 3.5 x 700=$245,000.00) Work stops during this process. Each employee is then either rehired or let go depending on their eligibility and qualifications. 12% of the non-exempt workforce are not rehired. The other 88% are reassigned new positions. No employee is in their original job. Employees that had been with the company for decades and developed expertise in their specialty are now in new positions with no expertise. The experts, who are in the exempt group, are not available for mentorship. The experts who mentor the exempt group are not available now either. Previous mentors are now learning new jobs. Tension and anger is elevated. One employee becomes incapacitated from the stress of the situation and loses several days of work. While decisions are being made as to who goes and who stays, loyalties shift. Stakeholders become acutely aware that they are expendable. The exempt team finishes its project. They are now required to go through the Re-Focus Project. They have been out of the collective company loop and are now thrown into it somewhat after the fact. Some employees are given a large bonus with the explanation that they will be given the dollar lump sum amount "as if" they had been promoted and given a raise. However, their status in the company will not be elevated, so that their social security and retirement benefits will not reflect that change. Some employees begin to seek work elsewhere. Several employees, who are within a few years of retirement shift loyalties away from a company they have given decades of service. Their interest in projects wane. They seek support outside the company
| |
| |
Dear Dr. Hawkins Mitchell, I wanted to share with you a story about my previous job. We had a very dictatorial director for just a year. He would call people into his office and ream them out. For the women he would pull out a box of tissues when they started crying. There were ample counseling costs because employees had a great need to talk about it. We didn't hire a new director for another year and throughout that time people were compelled to talk about their awful experiences with him.
The replacement director was there for about six years. He had a very bad temper and would just explode. We lost employees during his reign although he went through at least one anger management program. We lost a top- notch executive secretary, three comptrollers, and a development director. We lost board members . When another company was interviewing him he asked us, his current staff, to put in a good word for him and to "be kind." We were afraid to tell the company the truth because we desperately wanted to get rid of him; I believe that is how he keeps getting jobs! C. Mitriella
| |
| |
In a higher education setting one individual responsible for writing a million dollar grant repeatedly assured people that the work was progressing when in fact the person and the process were paralyzed. Close to the deadline the individual's supervisor discovered that little had been accomplished on the grant. An organization-wide effort completed the grant at the last moment. The one-week effort to write the grant cost the institution $12,000 in lost salaries in addition to a week's disruption of five other projects. In jeopardy were services to over 800 students, over a million dollars in grant funds, and four staff positions.
| |
| |
Dr. Bleuer trashed his office at the university. His students had to climb over papers, books and objects literally a foot deep. No one complained because he was a "nice guy and a good teacher" and his office hours were short. Contact with him was at a premium. His secretary, Linda, was miserable trying to keep things in order in an effort to answer business calls and manage his schedule. Early on in their association, she had assumed it was a temporary situation and that he had just been too busy. She asked him how she could help him organize. He verbally attacked Linda and warned her not to interfere with his important work with her frivolous work and an apparent need to control him. She was embarrassed and confused . When he began dumping his garbage on her work area, she was afraid to ask him not to do that. He now controlled both his and her space with his clutter. She tried to work around it to the best of her ability. Dr. Bluer had established his intentionality from the beginning. It was not negotiable; he believed he was entitled to trash his and her space. The secretary lasted eight months.
The next secretary, Connie, found the situation exactly the same. When she appropriately asked Dr. Bluer how she could help, he repeated his offensive behavior and raged at her. Connie laughed at him and was not intimidated. Dr. Bluer laughed also and gruffly gave her permission to "figure it out and leave me alone! I don't have time." Connie spent the next five months carefully designing a system of baskets and boxes and shelves to manage the multidimensional chaos of Dr Bleuer's creative mind and chaotic style. The professor would run through the door and toss his papers at Connie. She would then toss them into one of the many baskets or containers sitting around the office. After a while she noticed that he would toss them into the appropriate box or basket . On Secretary's Day, Dr. Bluer brought Connie flowers and tossed them at her. Then he asked her if it would be okay with her if he moved all the baskets into his office since it was now too hard to come out to her office to retrieve the papers he would throw on her desk. She gladly moved those baskets into his now much more well organized office space. The flowers looked better on her tidy desk without boxes.
| |
| |
Max had just quit smoking. It was his first week at work without cigarettes. He was doing well and felt good about himself. At the weekly staff meeting, it was announced that the office now had a NO SMOKING policy in effect immediately. A few people cheered, a few grumbled, and there was light-hearted banter and friendly ribbing to those who were the smokers. The policy included an EAP series on Quitting Smoking, a special smoking area away from the building, and a non-judgmental atmosphere about the change in policy.
Max took it personally and felt defensive. He felt shame and anger about his years as a smoker and now he felt angry that smokers were being judged and scorned by the administration. It made him jittery and angry. He wanted a smoke. He knew he was detoxing and wanted to quit, but now he wanted to defend his smoking friends . He remembered how glad he was that he was a non-smoker now, but felt angry for the other smokers. He wanted to rescue them. He didn't know which side he was on. It reminded him of his family of origin when his parents found out he was a smoker. They were disgusted. He remembered getting caught behind the garage by his Dad and how small he felt and afraid to show his Dad his temper. He didn't let on how he felt at work either, and so he hid his feelings. It made him feel like a small child again. He started pacing about the office grumbling and complaining. His resolve to not smoke crumbled. He went outside for a smoke with a friend. They grumbled together. Max went back in the building and fumed all day. Toward the end of the afternoon he went into the restroom and smoked. The manager came in to the restroom and reminded Max about the new policy. Max blew up and stormed out of the office in righteous indignation. This time he wasn't going to just take it like a child, he was going to do something about it!! He took his old childhood anger at his Dad out on the manager. Before he even knew what was happening, a full tilt emotional spin was launched.
Lee had just quit smoking. It was his first week at work without cigarettes. He was doing well and felt good about himself. At the weekly staff meeting, it was announced that the office now had a NO SMOKING policy in effect immediately. A few people cheered, a few grumbled, and there was light-hearted banter and friendly ribbing to those who were the smokers. The policy included an EAP series on Quitting Smoking, a special smoking area away from the building, and there was a non-judgmental atmosphere about the change in policy. Lee felt relieved.
| |
| |
Jay was a social drinker. Over time his drinking behavior escalated into dysfunctional drinking. His co-worker, Keven, thought there might be cause for concern when Jay would show up on Mondays obviously slammed from the weekend . On occasion Jay would have a few drinks at lunch . His use of mints and cologne did not hide his using behaviors. Jay missed a few work days here and there, and a few times these were during critical project crunch times. He began getting disturbing phone calls from his wife on Friday afternoons, and Mondays were a waste of time after each bad weekend.
Keven had always liked Jay and they had worked together for many years. Keven had considered Jay a work buddy and didn't want to make waves or cause any trouble, but did not know how to address this distressing behavior. After all, it was not really disturbing his production too much and he could cover, but it seemed to be getting a little worse and that was unsettling. Keven decided to live and let live and figured that it was none of his business what Jay did and tried to focus on his own work.
One Friday afternoon, after Jay had taken an extra long lunch, and returned with alcohol and mints on his breath as well as slurred speech, the boss sent a fax from the main office stating that he wanted Jay and Keven to deliver some key data to the next city that was about 85 miles from their location. Road trips had strict policy and procedures including the proviso that the senior man would drive. Jay was senior and management assigned Jay a company car as the driver. Now Keven had to get in the car with an obvious drunk or make a critical decision.
| |
| |
As a heterosexual, politically correct, educated , compassionate white woman , Ami was working on her personal growth and examining her attitudes about life, including being politically correct on the topics of racism and homophobia. Recently divorced and raising children alone, she felt vulnerable and worked very hard at her new job. Her worksite training had included Diversity and Racism Training. Her boss was a lesbian. Her work partner, Syleena was also a lesbian, and a woman she admired greatly. The office had several women of color in key positions and Ami was excited and felt positively obligated, challenged and inspired about exploring her inner world and developing a more sophisticated and worldly life experience. She eagerly attended trainings on diversity, conflict resolution and Gay and Lesbian issues.
During her employment at the Center, Ami occasionally worked with another lesbian, Diane. Ami didn't really like or respect Diane as a person or professional. She just didn't feel comfortable with her style at work or in person, but wanted to be a good employee and made an effort at professionalism . Diane wanted to be close friends with Ami and invited her to socialize frequently. Diane continued to engage her in conversations about non-business topics and things of a personal nature, clothes, dress, dates, and so forth. Every time Ami resisted a personal relationship, Diane protested with statements about Ami being a closed-minded white woman, homophobic, and how hurt she felt. Diane would follow Ami to lunches and even came to her home uninvited on several occasions. Ami was trying to develop a new social life and so was trying to include all her new acquaintances and workplace colleagues into her life.
Diane suggested that Ami was discriminating against her because she was a lesbian and that she should make more of an effort to 'come around" to "reality thinking." Ami was concerned that Diane might be right. After all, what did she, as a heterosexual, white, divorced woman know about real life? She decided it might be her homophobia acting up and that she was indeed a bad person by discriminating. She really didn't know what to think. She agreed to go out for lunch with Diane to "try to get beyond it." She worked harder, read more books, attended more trainings, and asked questions.
Diane became more demanding and continued to complain that Ami was discriminated against her because of her sexual orientation. This was very stressful to Ami who really did care about human beings and their oppressions. Ami tried to socialize with Diane and it just never seemed to be enough or correct. Diane insisted that she go with her to a local Gay Bar if she really wanted to know about the lifestyle. Ami felt a lot of pressure from Diane. On one occasion, after a period of soul searching and frustration she finally took the risk to confide her difficulties to Syleena. Ami explained, with some embarrassment, that she just couldn't figure out how to move forward in this endeavor of being professional and appropriate to women with a homosexual orientation. She blamed herself and said that Diane often encouraged her to "try on the shoes of being a lesbian so she could have some compassion and really understand her world." Ami told Syleena that Diane suggested to her that her husband left her for another woman because she was probably really a Lesbian. She said Diane had offered to help her get more physically comfortable with "the real truth of her feelings" by offering to have sex with her.
Syleena immediately reassured Ami. She told her, "This struggle you are having with Diane is not because she is a Lesbian, and it's not because you are a Lesbian. It is because Diane is inappropriate and may actually be a sexual predator . This behavior is completely inappropriate both personally and professionally, and it isn't about homophobia. Let's go talk to the boss together."
Where Ami may have easily tossed off male aggressive predator behavior, she was blindsided by Diane's "we're just girlfriends" intimate hugs and touching. Syleena and her boss mentored her and explained that within the Lesbian culture, just like any other culture, there are good people and less than good people. It had never occurred to Ami that she had been attacked at her workplace by someone who used the issues of diversity and human rights to offend.
| |
| |
Gary loved his workspace window. It allowed him to stay on top of his claustrophobia. He used to take medications to manage his anxieties over this, but he was doing well in his new job and discontinued the prescriptions. Management decided to upgrade the office and move desks. Everyone agreed and was excited about the new change. Gary did not want anyone to think he was weird or trying to hog the window and he became anxious. He felt stupid and weak. He couldn't express his preferences to management because he felt humiliated about his anxiety and that a small window meant that much to a grown man. His anxiety escalated and led to other self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that he had put away long ago. His production diminished. His marriage became strained. He felt like he had failed when he went to his doctor for more medications.
| |
| |
Chris had an abusive childhood and managed long-term recovery with the help of a therapist and a support group. When the office changed a procedure, Chris had trouble making the adjustment and consistently forgot the new procedure. After making a number of minor errors management called Chris in to find out what was going on, and followed it with a reprimand. Chris apologized and felt horrified and ashamed, which was reminiscent of childhood abuse feelings. Chris felt helpless and lost confidence. It took a number of extra therapy sessions to address this shift, and performance evaluations suffered in the meantime. Chris lost an important promotion. A new employee cost the agency significantly more than promoting internally.
| |
| |
Bill was frantic. As a Gulf War Veteran, he had been successfully dealing with his PTSD issues with weekly counseling sessions. The company decided to change health insurance providers to a managed care system that did not include mental health provisions. Bill had to decide how to handle this because he could not afford the counseling sessions out of pocket, there were no other counselors in the area that specialized in PTSD, and he knew that he needed ongoing care to manage his feelings of anger and betrayal. He started transferring his emotions toward the company that seemed to betray him. He knew this was not appropriate thinking and that his PTSD had been triggered. He didn't know what to do.
| |
| |
Elijah was annoyed. The woman in the next cubicle ate all day long. If she wasn't snacking on hard candy and opening little crackling wrappers, she was eating apples, or popcorn. He couldn't see her over the cubical divider, but he could hear her shuffling about all day long as she worked, hummed little tunes, and made noises associated with either eating or preparing to eat something.
Learning Byte
Life is amazing and emotions are part of life. Spinning goes with the territory.
The old thinking that emotions were bad for the competitive edge of business now needs to be reframed to state that poorly managed emotions are bad for the competitive edge.
DO THIS : Take a few moments to remember some of your personal spin stories.
DON'T : Forget that you have survived lots of spins already and are now ready to be an expert on the management of emotional spinning.
| |
EAN: N/A
Pages: 228